Two extra words can make all the difference.
Not long ago, I read about how asking the question “how are you?” is such an overwhelming question to ask. It asks the person far too much of them. Most people are not going to go into deep conversation about the true nature of how they are overall, as a person, going through life. So what is the automatic response?
I’m fine.
Yeah. No, they’re probably not.
Without realizing it, we’ve given them a quick “out” to not have to tell you what’s going on inside but it also – sadly- reminds the person of what they’re probably struggling with and that they’re all alone. Because isn’t it far too difficult to explain how you really are, overall, in that short amount of time? And does the person asking really care to hear all about it?
So what I also read was so simple: just ask how they are today.
It gives them the freedom to answer honestly and with a much clearer idea of how they can answer.
You still may here the “I’m fine!” response regardless, but thats okay. This works especially well when there’s been a death or a loss of any sort. Asking “how are you” is just simply too vague for them in this difficult time. Most likely, you’re going to set off a “how do you think I am?” response in their mind. But asking “how are you today?” or even changing it up to “How are you holding up today?” can make all the difference in the world.
Any thoughts? I would LOVE to hear them! Please comment below or shoot me a message!
The Nashville Wife 
So true! Today I asked the woman giving me my annual thermogram how she was “doing today.” That’s when she told me she’d spent two hours earlier in Urgent Care with severe, painful neck spasms. How little we know about people unless we ask them the right questions.
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It’s such a small easy thing that makes a huge impact
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I have asked “How are you today?” for a long time without ever having given it much thought. Most of the people I see routinely have no problem telling me how they’re doing at length, but when someone offers a simple “I’m fine” or something like it, I’m content to accept that without trying to pry more out of them. Unless it’s someone close and I can tell there’s more to tell.
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Right and that makes perfect sense!!
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